I  now seem to write these for the sole purpose of Raymond.
So here's some stuff to ponder on . . .
I love spanish more than almost anything . . .
When I grow up . . . I don't actually expect to grow up.
I don't plan to live more than 15 or 20 more years from now.
Which I sometimes think is sad.
Other times, it just seems obvious.
Like I could take growing old.
I apparently have an OFF button to my emotions.
I find that both scary and comforting.

Okay all, the end.

Currently Listening O Brother, Where Art Thou? By Various Artists - Soundtrack You Are My Sunshine see related

I love the fact that my life is full of meanlingless and shallow demonstrations of affection to make myself more palatable to the world. I've finally figured out what leads to the easiest form of manipulation. Sad to say, my mother beat me to it decades ago. Mindless flattery and ever more mindless attempts at caring. Lovely. On the bright side, it fits damn well with my new job. "Do you forgive me? Because you're my favorite Plus customer!" "You're so fabulous." Oh my goodness . . . There it goes, my last remnant of genuine personality. Hmph. Genuine is just so useless now a days. I was working and I offered to help a guy pick up some papers. He less-than-politely refused. Without thinking, later I stacked the papers he'd strewn on the counter. Needless to say he was rather perturbed. I kind of admire him for being so blunt. Isn't that strange. An older gentleman is a complete dick to someone trying to help, but I admire his honesty.

Well off to bed.
Night.
Buenas Noches.
Vamos a hallarnos. . . .eventualmente.

Here's my song!!

"Good Day" ------ Jewel

I say to myself
Self, why are you awake again? It's one a.m.
Standing with the fridge wide open, staring
Such a sight, florescent light
The stars are bright
Might make a wish, if I believed in that shit but
As it is, I might watch TV
Cause it's nice to see people more messed up than me
I say to myself, as I smile at the wall, just let myself fall

It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
It's gonna be alright, cause I'm alright with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gotta be

I shiver, shut the door
Can't think standing here no more
I'm alone, my mine's racing, heart breaking
Can you be everything I need you to be?
Can you protect me like a daughter?
Can you love me like a father?
Can you drink me like water?
Say I'm like the desert, Just Way Hotter.

The point of it all
Is that if I should fall
Still you're name I'll call

It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
It's gonna be OK, cause I'm OK with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be

As long as we laugh out loud
Laugh like we're mad
Cause this crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have
Because what's love but an itch we can't scratch, a joke we can't catch
God, but still we laugh

Get back in bed, turn off the TV
You say "I'll be alright baby, just wait and see."

It's gonna be all right, it's gonna be okay
It's gonna be all right, just wait and see
Its gonna be all right, no matter what they say
Its gonna be a good day, just wait, just see
It's gonna be okay, cause I'm okay with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be okay...
Uh oh, awake again
It's one A.M.
Staring
Such a sight
Well, at least the stars are bright

This song is fucking amazing

I've finished orienation and training at Dillons . . . I officially start at my job at my store in two hours.

Wish me good luck in remembering  . . . . buttons . . . and order of buttons. . . oh goodness. . .

I was hired at Dillons.
Assuming last Saturday's Poppy Bagel wasn't a horrid mistake, and it now looks like I take opiates.
We'll see how this goes . . . *worried expression here*